Dating Opps

Dating people with different personalities or opposing political, spiritual, or social views, beliefs & interests

Why Do People Date the Opp?

People at first date opps, because opposite attracts. There are some people who date others because others’ appearances are different from their own, or from what are used to seeing or dating. (i.e., skinny people are interested in thicker people, shorter are attracted to tall, people of one race may be interested in another, and men are attracted to women). No matter what it is that attracts the eye to those different from themselves, once they date, things may not work out because of the different views on their beliefs, or political, spiritual, social, and moral values, or what have them. It is not to say people who have opposing views will not last, because some do, but there are many relationships that don’t—and it is mostly because of the subject at hand.

On the other hand, it is fair to say some individuals end up dating those with opposing views, because they want to avoid judging the other person so early. They try to get to know the other person, but while waiting patiently to figure them out, they wait to ask certain questions, other than “What do you like do?”. Questions like “What do you like to do?” may seem mediocre or common, at the same time, it is really a great question; but we must get deeper than that. While going all the way in may be the most private questions, they are also the most important. The answers to those questions may make a difference in whether couples stay together or not.

What one like to do could either be a broad answer like: “I like to roller skate and cook.” or more to the point like: “I like tarot card reading.” Getting a more straightforward answer, or asking specific questions like: “Do you believe in God?” “Do you like to attend church?” “Are you religious?” or “Are you into tarot reading?” would help to clear things up much faster; furthermore, it will be less problems or surprises in the future.

In Reading “Can you have a healthy relationship with someone with opposing political views? Seattle Times readers sound off,” The Seattle Times ask readers their opinions on their relationships. They asked, “Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has opposing political views? Do politics factor into your relationship?” While keeping all said statements anonymous, readers said,

“On social issues, I don’t think there’s much wiggle room — either you care about

human equality, or you don’t. On fiscal issues I think it’s fine to differ. I mean, does anyone in a relationship always agree on how money should be spent?”

— Anonymous

“… If your girlfriend needs an abortion, and you don’t believe in that, it pretty much ends the relationship. If your boyfriend has an unregistered semiautomatic gun and you don’t believe in unregulated access to guns, your relationship will never get off the ground. … Any conscious person needs to be yoked with someone of similar sensibilities. Where would we be if homes were built on internal disagreement and social discord?”

— Anonymous

“Not anymore. Our country has become such an ‘us vs. them’ mentality, that I don’t think anyone can happily date one of ‘them.’ Since many political issues boil down to values and human rights, it makes sense that you’d want your partner to align.”

— Anonymous

"Neither of us are active on social media nor attend political marches and rallies. … We occasionally have heated discussions. It’s even become a way to tease the other one in a friendly way. … I know we will set a good example to our kids who will witness two loving parents can have opposing views. It’s our common interests, spiritual life and what we want to accomplish together that have brought us together, and of course the physical attraction, can’t leave that one out!”

— Anonymous

“… I could not date a woman who was much more religious than I am. Nor could I date a woman who truly believed religion was terrible. The most helpful model for me is to think about how a partner would impact a household. Or: Is her view compatible with how I would want to raise children?”

— Anonymous

It seems most of the people feel that rather than having too many differences, that relations should be on the same accord. Whether it is because of many differences, or just one particular type of difference (political, spiritual, social, moral, etc.), that may be just enough to make a huge impact on the relationship.

HOW TO COPE WITH CHALLENGES IN A RELATIONSHIP WHEN YOU AND YOUR PARTNER HAVE OPPOSING VIEWS

Reading the journal article, “Me and My Partner Have Very Different Values,” you may find it helpful at understanding how a couple can defeat challenges at differences in their relationships. It states, “… while it’s true that having opposing opinions on big subjects can create friction, it’s by no means a sign that you can’t work as a couple. One thing counselling tries to help people understand is that differences aren’t usually the problem: it’s how you deal with them that matters!”

The articles states that it does matter about differences in views, but it is also possible to date with opposing views, it is only a matter of how couples deal with their differences, and for that — counseling is recommended. The article adds a list of helpful ways to resolve the differences of opinions in relationships. They are as follows:

§ Talk things over properly

§ Try to see where they are coming from

§ Find the common ground

§ Do not force things

§ Are they right?

§ Know your boundaries

All the strategies listed are quite helpful, but to read the article would be a great source, as it would provide a clearer understanding, and get more in depth on each of the strategies. I recommend reading the article. It also provides other related articles that would be helpful on this topic, as well as links to contact counselors that will guide couples through their differences. There is also a 10-question quiz to find out if you and your partner are compatible, which I will attach in this article.

ARE YOU AND YOUR PARTNER COMPATIBLE?

Select the link below to take the quiz:

https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/feeling-unsatisfied-your-relationship/quiz-are-you-and-your-partner-compatible

RESOURCES:

https://www.seattletimes.com/life/can-you-have-a-healthy-relationship-with-someone-with-opposing-political-views-heres-what-readers-said/ Oct. 7, 2020, at 6:00 a.m. Updated Oct. 8, 2020, at 10:44 a.m.

https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/arguing-and-conflict/me-and-my-partner-have-very-different-values Date posted: Unknown.

OTHER HELPFUL RESOURCES:

The 33 Most Common Reasons Why Relationships Fail: THESE ARE THE PROBLEMS COUPLES FACE BEFORE THEY DECIDE TO CALL IT QUITS. https://bestlifeonline.com/breakup-reasons/.

How to deal when you and your partner are political opposites: Relationship experts discuss how to navigate dating and relationships in our charged political times. https://www.today.com/health/how-deal-when-you-your-partner-are-political-opposites-t192617.

Ending Question: Is it possible to be dating people of different personalities or opposing political, spiritual, or social views, beliefs & interests?

R Love | R Love Entertainment, LLC® All Rights Reserved | 12/26/2021